Sunday, October 31, 2010

Body Image Issues

Ola dolls,

Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would like to. Been caught up with work and clearing from University. Good news and bad news abounds.

Good news; I GOT THE JOB. Yes dolls, momma is a lucky camper. Celebration in due course but for now am letting it sink in. Making a strict budget to follow. I don't want to waste a single dime.:)

Bad news; am slowly slipping into a serious depression(God, am tired of these muzungu situations!) Anyhow, for as long as I remember, I have had strong to mild issues with my body. There was a time I couldn't eat at all cause I couldn't fathom the idea of gaining weight.(I fainted on several occasions) And then when that passed, i had to deal with the severe acne that attacked my face. But for a while now, all that has been forgotten. For the past few months I have comfortable in my skin. I glowed with happiness and love all thanks to the boy. I felt beautiful for once. But last week, the boy expressed that I was slowly but surely letting myself go. I quote,"you are losing it!" He also recommended I cleanse and watch my weight. And before I knew it, the dark cloud of unhappiness I had left behind when I was a teenager has slowly come back into my life to overshadow any sort of sunshine that might be directed my way. I haven't gone out at all this weekend. I spent it indoors, applying an aloe Vera face mask and checking my face every hour. I also haven't eaten anything but apples. Fortunately, I have decided am going to do this for me, not for anyone else. So I have set up goals and how am planning to achieve them.
Goal 1:To drop from the size 6 I currently am back to a size 4. For this am going to diet and exercise as well but mainly diet seeing as am lazy. I have given up breakfast and supper and lunch will be just vegetables.
Goal 2:To have a smooth acne free skin. I am going to go for facials every week as opposed to just twice a month. Avoid anything fried. Drink at least a litre of juice a day(I can't drink water..it's too eeeww!) Keep to my regime of cleansing, toning and moisturizing every morning and evening. Stay away from alcohol, it is the devil!
Goal 3:To look fashionable everyday. Clean out my wardrobe of anything old and tacky that I don't or should not wear anymore. Purchase a good item of clothing every month. on that note, I need more dresses!
Goal 4: Upgrade underwear. Make a purchase of matching bra and panties(according to my male friends..it's essential they match) every month. I shall not wear cheap bad materialed under wear again. I shall invest in good quality.

That's all I've managed to come up with thus far. :( AM.NOT.HAPPY

XOXO