Sunday, October 31, 2010

Body Image Issues

Ola dolls,

Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would like to. Been caught up with work and clearing from University. Good news and bad news abounds.

Good news; I GOT THE JOB. Yes dolls, momma is a lucky camper. Celebration in due course but for now am letting it sink in. Making a strict budget to follow. I don't want to waste a single dime.:)

Bad news; am slowly slipping into a serious depression(God, am tired of these muzungu situations!) Anyhow, for as long as I remember, I have had strong to mild issues with my body. There was a time I couldn't eat at all cause I couldn't fathom the idea of gaining weight.(I fainted on several occasions) And then when that passed, i had to deal with the severe acne that attacked my face. But for a while now, all that has been forgotten. For the past few months I have comfortable in my skin. I glowed with happiness and love all thanks to the boy. I felt beautiful for once. But last week, the boy expressed that I was slowly but surely letting myself go. I quote,"you are losing it!" He also recommended I cleanse and watch my weight. And before I knew it, the dark cloud of unhappiness I had left behind when I was a teenager has slowly come back into my life to overshadow any sort of sunshine that might be directed my way. I haven't gone out at all this weekend. I spent it indoors, applying an aloe Vera face mask and checking my face every hour. I also haven't eaten anything but apples. Fortunately, I have decided am going to do this for me, not for anyone else. So I have set up goals and how am planning to achieve them.
Goal 1:To drop from the size 6 I currently am back to a size 4. For this am going to diet and exercise as well but mainly diet seeing as am lazy. I have given up breakfast and supper and lunch will be just vegetables.
Goal 2:To have a smooth acne free skin. I am going to go for facials every week as opposed to just twice a month. Avoid anything fried. Drink at least a litre of juice a day(I can't drink's too eeeww!) Keep to my regime of cleansing, toning and moisturizing every morning and evening. Stay away from alcohol, it is the devil!
Goal 3:To look fashionable everyday. Clean out my wardrobe of anything old and tacky that I don't or should not wear anymore. Purchase a good item of clothing every month. on that note, I need more dresses!
Goal 4: Upgrade underwear. Make a purchase of matching bra and panties(according to my male's essential they match) every month. I shall not wear cheap bad materialed under wear again. I shall invest in good quality.

That's all I've managed to come up with thus far. :( AM.NOT.HAPPY


1 comment:

  1. OK first things first.everyone has body image issues and so there is nothing unique there and this time thats a good thing. Also i like your motivation but i question where its coming from. it should be from a place of wanting to be better for yourself first and then others. please dont let 'THE BOY ' be your reason for making positive lifestyle watif he doesn't like them.then you change again? its hard and takes time but you will find that place where when you're happy with yourself nothing stands in the way of that. I like all the things you're doing and i will be picking a leaf. On that note its brave of you to be open like that.